What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are some of your shocking stories?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I'm a 28-year-old guy who has never been in a relationship, nor can I seem to find someone who wants to be in one with me. Why do I feel like a freak?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

TEXT:

How come I can't stay sober?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Make Nazis afraid again!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do I keep waking up at 4 AM?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

This Plant You’ve Never Heard of Can Do What Scientists Thought Was Impossible - SciTechDaily

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why does Nickelback, a popular Canadian alternative-rock band, receive so much hate? Is it because they are not considered "edgy" by some people?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What is the reason behind some people wearing trunks instead of speedos when swimming in pools?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

We’re About To Talk To Dolphins… But Are We Ready To Hear The Truth? - The Daily Galaxy

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

2 Years of Exercise Reversed 20 Years of Aging in the Heart: Longest-Ever Randomized Trial on Exercise - Good News Network

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Trumpworld Is Fighting Over ‘Official’ Crypto Wallet - WIRED

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How do I express sarcasm in non-dialogue text when writing a fiction novel?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.